tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83958992024-03-13T05:32:58.055-07:00ReflectionsPoems... essays... emotions.... reflections....Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.comBlogger216125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-57016004026101053022014-06-26T13:04:00.000-07:002014-06-26T13:04:53.715-07:00Lord, Let It Be Her<br />
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<b><span lang="EN-PH"><a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2014/06/lord-let-it-be-her.html">Lord, Let It Be Her</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-PH" style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">by Royverine<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Your will, not mine</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Yet humbly</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Before You, I stand </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Fervently praying</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">With the purest intentions</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">And an honest heart</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Lord, let it be her</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-PH">The one who’ll hold my hands</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH"> Fill my heart with love</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Until the end of my life</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">But if it can’t be</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Then hear my plea</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Let my heart be frozen</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-PH">And my eyes be blind</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-PH">Numb my emotions</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">‘til the end of time</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-PH">Cause I will care no more</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">For tomorrow to come</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">-------------------------------</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">June 26, 2014</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">10:04 a.m.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Angeles City</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-PH">Philippines</span></div>
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<br /></div>
Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-71404603091894291342014-06-23T07:40:00.000-07:002014-06-23T07:40:36.112-07:00The Unwritten Verse<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><b><a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-unwritten-verse.html">The Unwritten Verse</a></b></span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">by </span>Royverine<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> </span></span></i><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">There was a verse</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">That longs to be written</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But it was kept inside</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Hidden</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Forgotten </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You came</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />You smiled<br />The verse became alive<br />But still it is hesitant<br />To come out<br /><br />Will you help me finish<br />what was unwritten?<br />Will you hold my hand?<br />And let the verse<br />come to life again<br /><br />The unwritten verse<br />Longs to be free<br /><br />Hold my hand<br />Let the verse<br />Live again<br /><br />-----------------------------<br />June 23, 2014<br />2:55 p.m.<br />Angeles City<br />Philippines </span>Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-31016086110222176042013-09-29T06:59:00.003-07:002013-09-29T07:05:36.815-07:00He Giveth Not<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; padding: 0px;">
<strong><br /></strong></div>
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<strong><a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2013/09/he-giveth-noth.html">He Giveth Not</a></strong></div>
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<em>by Royverine</em></div>
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I asked</div>
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He giveth not</div>
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<br /></div>
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I was stubborn</div>
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He said <em>"Patience"</em></div>
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<br /></div>
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I was confused</div>
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He said <em>"Trust Me"</em></div>
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<br /></div>
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I asked</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; padding: 0px;">
He giveth not</div>
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<br /></div>
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Greater is His plan</div>
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<br /></div>
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--------------------</div>
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September 23, 2013</div>
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10:43 a.m.</div>
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Angeles City</div>
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Philippines</div>
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<br /></div>
Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-12223695260059954712013-06-07T08:44:00.001-07:002013-06-07T08:44:49.584-07:00The Seventh Notebook<br />
<i>This is the first time I wrote a poetry about my book of poetry.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-seventh-notebook.html">The Seventh Notebook</a></span></b><br />
<i>by Royverine</i><br />
<br />
Another start<br />
Will it be melancholic?<br />
Will it be jovial?<br />
Or would it also be<br />
a smorgasbord of emotions?<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Three decades of verses<br />
Has the mood changed?<br />
Or is it still the same?<br />
Uphill and downhill<br />
Inconsistent<br />
A rollercoaster<br />
<br />
Unmeasured<br />
They don’t always rhyme<br />
Unpoetic even<br />
Senseless sometimes<br />
Unless you peek<br />
Between the lines<br />
<br />
They’ve seen births and deaths<br />
All dreams fulfilled<br />
And even frustrations met<br />
Of bleeding hearts<br />
And dancing souls<br />
Real life<br />
<br />
This <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-seventh-notebook.html">seventh</a><br />
Doesn’t bring a promise<br />
Only a continuation<br />
Of journeys unending<br />
A journal, if you may<br />
In verses<br />
<br />
Let’s begin<br />
<br />
------------------------------------<br />
June 6, 2013<br />
7:54 a.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
Philippines<br />
<br />
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<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-59441134930796315432013-05-07T19:31:00.000-07:002013-05-07T19:32:14.964-07:00Turning 45<br />
<br />
<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2013/05/turning-45.html">Turning 45</a><br />
<br />
Sounds like a mix of old songs that we used to play in our time using a disc. But it’s not a laser disc, rather it’s a vinyl disc and we played in on the turntable where a needle “reads” the music as the song is playing.<br />
<br />
If you would describe that to today’s generation, they might give you a blank face because they won’t understand what you’re talking about; they might display an expression of a dropped-jaw of disbelief that there was such a device that existed; or they might show you a wide-eye face and see you as an untamed caveman from the stone age.<br />
<br />
In other words, it may sound <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2013/05/turning-45.html">Jurassic</a> to them.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>That is how I feel right now – old... Jurassic... an outdated model. Sure, I don’t need a cane to walk nor do I need an adult diaper because I am still very much in control. But that doesn’t really classify me as a youth, does it.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2013/05/turning-45.html">I’m 45</a>, and that is that!<br />
<br />
If adolescence is that confusing stage wherein you are neither a child nor an adult, being 45 is that awkward age wherein you are either old or too old.<br />
<br />
Maybe growing old could be easier if you know you have something to prove for all those years of existence, and you know you can leave something that will assure your child a better future. Honestly, the opposite is true.<br />
<br />
They say 40 is the new 30, making 30 the new 20, and so on and so forth. This, I guess is just a lame excuse for people to act like a jerk in spite of their age.<br />
<br />
They also say age is only in the mind. So I guess if I’m mindless I will be eternally youthful.<br />
<br />
You can throw all the clichés that you can think of at me, but it won’t change the fact that I am 45.<br />
<br />
And that is that!<br />
<div>
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Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-43147547919400515932012-12-03T07:46:00.002-08:002012-12-03T07:48:59.475-08:00Smile for Me... the story and the song<br />
It was an evening that I felt so low… and all alone. The fever I had then was not helping. I was thinking of a quick way out. I was tired… sick and tired, literally. There was nothing going right, and there’s nothing left either.<br />
<br />
Evening… dark… alone… sick… a perfect condition for demotivation.<br />
<br />
Where were those friends who said <i>“We’re always here for you!”</i><br />
<br />
If only my wife was with me then, I knew she would make me feel better… without even saying a word. She would just hold my hand, embrace me… and smile. I knew everything will be fine. <br />
<br />
Of course, she’s no longer here with me for she already went home four years ago and I have to continue the journey by myself. I can’t let three kids down… I can’t let my wife down.<br />
<br />
But I really wished she’s still with me. I wish I could see her smile at me again.<br />
<br />
Not minding the fever I had, I stood up to get the guitar. Playing some chords, I nonchalantly murmured <i>“smile for me as you look down from heaven… help me feel better… help me feel strong… tell me I can still go on.”</i><br />
<br />
Those words… a guitar on hand… and a melancholic ambiance… I was able to build a pattern which became the refrain and the bridge of the song.<br />
<br />
I was not able to finish the song that night. I can’t. It took me more than a month but eventually I was able to find out the words that best expressed my sentiments and complete the song.<br />
<br />
I uploaded the song on YouTube on November 29, her birthday, sent it to her through my <i>‘letters’</i> and hope that it could reach her… wishing that she would like it.<br />
<br />
Here is the song I wrote for my wife for her birthday, it’s called <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/12/smile-for-me-story-and-song.html">Smile For Me</a>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wERdM40Slc0?rel=0" width="420"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
I really wish I was able to make her smile.Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-76825498293463399312012-11-12T03:50:00.002-08:002012-11-12T03:51:49.552-08:00I'm sorry Lord for my faith is weak...<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/11/im-sorry-lord-for-my-faith-is-weak.html" target="_blank">Lord, I'm sorry</a>. I thought I was strong in faith. I thought I can hold on... but I'm not. I'm failing, Lord. Honestly, I would like to hold on and that somehow like a silver lining on a dark and cloudy sky, You would shine at the precise to save me from this pit I am in.<br />
<br />
I'm having doubts, My Lord. I am sorry. I've tried not to entertain this feeling but it seems the devil is getting the better of me and I'm losing this fight within me.<br />
<br />
Please Lord, I need You now. <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/11/im-sorry-lord-for-my-faith-is-weak.html" target="_blank">Help me, My God</a>... I'm drowning...<br />
<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-53424883146634245142012-11-04T01:55:00.000-07:002012-11-04T01:59:45.836-08:00Do you dare question God's ways?<br />
<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/11/do-you-dare-question-gods-ways.html" target="_blank">Do you dare question God's ways?</a> Can you question His decisions?<br />
<br />
I can. In fact, I do.<br />
<br />
No, I am not remorseful nor do I feel that it is blasphemous or sacrilegious.<br />
<br />
I had an argument once with <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/yes-i-still-call-her-my-wife.html" target="_blank">my wife</a> back then. She was an Education graduate, by the way, and majored in Religious Education.<br />
<br />
I asked her, <i>"Do you think cursing God, being angry with Him, and questioning His ways is also a form of prayer?"</i><br />
<br />
At first, she said "No" and was even terrified by the word "cursing." I mean, which faithful dare curse Our Creator, The Almighty Father?<br />
<br />
But when I stated my argument, she somewhat agreed… although not completely.<br />
<br />
I told her, you can only be mad because you did not get what you were expecting to receive. And you can only expect if you believe. Hence, disappointments are not really caused by doubts but by beliefs… beliefs that were not met.<br />
<br />
Also, they say prayer is communicating with God. When you ask Him… question His ways and judgment, you are actually communicating with Him, right? So, how can that not be considered a prayer? And how can you communicate with someone you do not even believe in, in the first place?<br />
<br />
That is why I think that when I ask Him about how He throw things at me, and why at times I dare tell Him that He wasn't even listening to me, I know for a fact that I am <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/11/do-you-dare-question-gods-ways.html" target="_blank">COMMUNICATING with Him</a>. <br />
<br />
It is like a son talking to his father - where both have an open line of communication with each other.<br />
<br />
Of course, I never really cursed Him, although I sometimes use absolutes like Never, Always, and I'm sick and tired… only to realize later that His ways are not my ways and His plans are indeed beyond my comprehensions.<br />
<br />
I am not stubborn. I would accept His decisions, but I know I can always tell Him how I feel about things. It is something personal.<br />
<br />
Thus, I was able to convince <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/yes-i-still-call-her-my-wife.html" target="_blank">Nem</a>, albeit with reservations, that when I question God's ways I am in fact praying to Him.<br />
<br />
And yes, I do praise and thank Him too. I do not always complain.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-1966829876135611022012-10-31T07:31:00.000-07:002012-10-31T07:32:46.523-07:00Yes, I still call her my wifeI know I may have confused some of my friends, especially new friends and old friend who never heard what happened. But yes, <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/yes-i-still-call-her-my-wife.html" target="_blank">I still call Nimia "my wife"</a> because the fact is she is still my wife. <br />
<br />
Maybe we're just separated, but we're still married. Nem and I are separated because she now lives in heaven while I am here still struggling it here on earth.<br />
<br />
That is why when I talk about her, I still refer to her as <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/yes-i-still-call-her-my-wife.html" target="_blank">my wife</a>. I don't know why, but I can't find it in my heart to use the word "late" and refer to her as my "late" wife, as what some people might say is the correct phrase.<br />
<br />
No. It's not because I haven't accepted what happened and I still live in the past. It's not that. <br />
<br />
I have already accepted our fate, Nem prepared me for it long before she went "home." I just don't like using the word "late."<br />
<br />
Why should I?! She wasn't late! In fact, she was early. <b>SHE WENT HOME EARLY!</b><br />
<br />
Seriously, it doesn't really make any difference for me. We're still married, it's just that she's already up there with the BIG GUY while I'm still down here trying to finish whatever it is that I need to finish.<br />
<br />
I do hope this made everything clear… or not.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-73371561420665392192012-10-23T06:34:00.000-07:002014-02-21T08:22:57.602-08:00How to be an inspiration?<br />
What does it really take to <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/how-to-be-inspiration.html" target="_blank">inspire others</a>? Do you need to be somebody? Do you have to be an influential person before you can <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/how-to-be-inspiration.html" target="_blank">be inspirational</a>?<br />
<br />
I don’t think so. I don’t really know how, but I think the list I prepared below might help.<br />
<br />
1. Smile<br />
2. If it suddenly rained and you don’t have an umbrella, dance like a little kid under the rain… and smile<br />
3. If your house was burned down, say “At least I’m still alive and unharmed,” and then… smile<br />
4. If you suddenly lost your dog, believe that he is happy, and loved, with his new owner… and smile<br />
5. If you find yourself suddenly out of job, think of the many possibilities. Like the prospects of new jobs you can apply to, or even start a business and be your own boss! And then… smile<br />
6. If your girl/boy dumps you for another one, know that someone better will come along… and smile<br />
7. When all your life’s savings went down the drain because you lose on a bet or invested it on a business that went kaput, realize that you can always start again. Remember that when you are down, there’s no way to go but up. And of course, don’t forget to smile.<br />
<br />
Shallow? Yes, they are. But some people are not really looking for heroes. They are looking for real people – people who get hurt; people who fail; people who fall, and stand up.<br />
<br />
You don’t have to do a great deal. You don’t need gigantic accomplishments. You can inspire others even if you yourself are still undone. As long as you continue to fight, no matter how hard you are hit. People will notice, and they will realize that it is still worthwhile to continue living. Then, they will <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/10/how-to-be-inspiration.html" target="_blank">be inspired</a> too.<br />
<br />
Does it make sense? <br />
<br />
Then tell me… are you inspired yet?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-71003205200747934522012-09-20T07:57:00.000-07:002012-09-20T07:58:39.010-07:00Putting me in my proper placeI attended a <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/09/putting-me-in-my-proper-place.html" target="_blank">songwriting workshop</a> conducted by The Maestro, Mr. Ryan Cayabyab, today at the San Beda College in Manila. I was very excited because aside from the workshop itself, it will be the first time that I will meet Ryan Cayabyab. I've been watching him since Ryan Ryan Musikahan, and yes, you may say I'm a fan.<br />
<br />
Together with him during the workshop were some of the finalists of the recently concluded PhilPop Music Festival Songwriting Competition. The contest I joined in, and of course, eventually lost.<br />
<br />
They presented the finalists, and the finalists who were present there performed their winning songs.<br />
<br />
Damn! They're good! No, I mean, they were excellent!<br />
<br />
And I dared compete with those people?! And you know what's worse? They were so young, some were even half my age!<br />
<br />
What does that make me? Twice a loser, I guess.<br />
<br />
Ryan said well, "You've seen and heard these guys. They all play a musical instrument and they all can sing."<br />
<br />
He emphasized that those are important factors for a songwriter.<br />
<br />
I am a mediocre guitar player and definitely a lousy singer.<br />
<br />
Should I still join future songwriting contests?<br />
<br />
I don't know, those guys sure put me in my proper place.<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-27540906227306013352012-08-11T20:04:00.001-07:002012-08-11T20:04:17.251-07:00Hot water system<br />
The cold season came early this year because of the continuous rains these past few days, waking it difficult to wake up and stand up so early in the morning. Much more take a bath in the cold weather. But to attend to classes, work, errands, etc., taking a bath is mandatory. The best solution is a hot shower, although right now there is no hot water system installed in our house. So I searched the web to look for some and stumbled upon some <a href="http://www.savapump.com/category/hot-water-circulators" target="_blank">hot water circulator reviews</a> to help me in choosing what is the best hot water system to be installed in our house.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
The hot water system would be very helpful to alleviate the cold weather we are experiencing, especially for me and my kids who need to wake up early in the morning to go to work and school. It is not like we have a choice. The rainy cold weather season is not a reason for us to stop doing what we should. Intelligent people as we are, we need to find ways to be able to adapt to what mother nature, and the environment will throw to us. Cold mornings will not, and should not, stop us from going through our days.<br />
<br />
I also read from somewhere, that a hot shower can be healthy and will help in the better circulation of the blood, justifying the necessity for the installation of a hot water shower system that should be used not during cold rainy seasons, but all throughout the year. However, I also heard of some horrific stories of some who where hurt, burned, and injured because of a malfunctioning hot water system. That is why the reviews I found will be most helpful in guiding me in my choice. Of course, I will also ask the advice of some of my friends who have hot water system installed in their house.Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-1868335788275376922012-06-10T05:32:00.000-07:002016-06-05T20:04:11.832-07:00The Choice<br />
<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/06/choice.html"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Choice </b></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>by Roy </i></span><br />
<br />
I tried to move on<br />
Tear a page off my life<br />
Learned to fool myself<br />
And wore a fake smile<br />
Cause life goes on<br />
Even as I breathe in pain<br />
<br />
I might as well tell my heart<br />
To stop beating<br />
Cause it always look back<br />
And continue hoping<br />
Someday, somehow<br />
You would care<br />
<br />
But does it really matter?<br />
Tomorrow will not change<br />
It just adds another day<br />
To this story of longing<br />
A plea that will never be<br />
For you can't feel my pain<br />
<br />
Would you look my way?<br />
Or is that asking too much?<br />
For my eyes tell more<br />
Than what my lips dare cry<br />
However, I do not exist<br />
In your consciousness<br />
<br />
Waiting is not a game<br />
It is a curse<br />
And I will embrace it<br />
Until you hear my heart<br />
How long, you asked?<br />
An eternity of time<br />
<br />
A fool, I know I am<br />
Basking in all this pain<br />
I could have walked away<br />
And be free<br />
But I choose hurt over empty<br />
Cause you're not there<br />
<br />
-----------------------------<br />
June 6, 2012<br />
12:55 a.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-75954548773458587962012-05-23T07:59:00.000-07:002012-10-31T18:20:31.722-07:00Yes, I love you but...Yes, I love you but… I have a life to live. I need to get my life back, there are people who defend on it, three of which are my kids.<br />
<br />
I'm beginning to hurt other people. Even turning against my friends and disappointing those who were always there for me.<br />
<br />
No, it wasn't your fault really. It was all my fault. My own doing. It was all my conscious choice.<br />
<br />
I choose to linger with the pain. I choose to wallow in this pool of apathy, hoping that someday you might turn your head my way and see me hurting. Perhaps you might realize the sincerity in what I am offering.<br />
<br />
But it will not happen. It will never happen. My pain is the least of your concern.<br />
<br />
You'll never know what I went through… what I am going through.<br />
<br />
I thought I had a chance. Really, I thought I did. But I fumbled and everything that I did was erased. You were never aware of them in the first place, so there wasn't really any loss as far you are concern.<br />
<br />
I never really stood a chance.<br />
<br />
I could have waited a little longer, no matter how bleak my chance is. I can wait longer if I want to… but I'm beginning to hurt other people and it was unfair for them.<br />
<br />
Yes, I love you… but I believe I have already done my part.<br />
<br />
I need to get my life back on track.<br />
Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-85354068457909801662012-05-18T22:25:00.000-07:002012-05-18T22:26:49.296-07:00Yet another dream...Submission of entries for the <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/05/yet-another-dream.html">PhilPop Music Festival</a> ended last May 10, 2012. Right now they are narrowing down the entries to 100, from there they would choose 30, and from the 30 they would pick the 14 finalists who will be showcased in the finals night sometime in July 2012.<br />
<br />
What are my chances? 1 to over 1 million! And aside from going against the multitude of talented Filipinos all over the world, the best and brightest professional songwriters of our time are also joining the competition.<br />
<br />
It's a long shot, <i>"suntok sa buwan"</i> ika nga. But I would like to think that we actually all have equal chances, and I hope that you can support me and help me pray that I can be chosen as one of the 14 finalists.<br />
<br />
Winning the <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/05/yet-another-dream.html">songwriting competition</a> is farthest from my mind. I joined the contest because it's the only channel I know for my song to be heard and hope that somehow it will reach her who inspired me to write the song.<br />
<br />
Keeping my fingers crossed.<br />
<br />
So help me God.Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-14882432958721635752012-04-24T07:01:00.002-07:002012-04-24T07:01:56.914-07:00Why am I still here?Why am I still here?<br />
<br />
If I can't be with the one I love, then let me be with the one who loves me.<br />
<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-73135147888652458432012-04-23T07:56:00.000-07:002012-04-23T07:57:49.710-07:00I will never be good enough for her...It was July 12, 2011, around 9:00 a.m., I was sitting on my desk preparing my things before I make my rounds. It was my second week in my new job as Admin Officer in the hospital. Before I was able to stand up, my Admin Director approached me... she was accompanied by an angel.<br />
<br />
"<i>Roy, this is <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-will-never-be-good-enough-for-her.html">Gail</a>, head of the Hemodialysis unit</i>," my Director said as she introduced the angel to me, "<i>they will be attending a seminar in Philhealth tomorrow and they need transportation. Make sure they will be provided one, it's an important seminar.</i>"<br />
<br />
"<i>Yes ma'm! It will be taken care of</i>," I replied, as I looked at the <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-will-never-be-good-enough-for-her.html">angel with the sweetest smile</a>.<br />
<br />
It must have been more than 10 minutes since they left, but it seemed I can still see Gail standing there in front of my desk, smiling.<br />
<br />
Fast forward, I no longer work in the hospital. I left about three weeks ago seeking for the proverbial "greener pasture" and the one I miss most in the hospital, of course, is the angel with the sweetest smile.<br />
<br />
But the problem is, I will never be good enough for her. Never have been... never will be. I guess I just have to be contented with her being only a dream.<br />
<br />
I wish I can tell more and say why it can't be.<br />
<br />
I just have to accept the fact that it will never happen... but I love her... always will.<br />
<br />
<br />Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-42046275979019485702012-04-06T19:04:00.002-07:002012-04-06T19:06:44.393-07:00Grateful<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/04/grateful.html"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Grateful</b></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>by Roy dela Cruz</i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
Grateful for the challenges<br />
That helped me grow<br />
Grateful for new horizons<br />
That I can explore<br />
<br />
Grateful for old friends<br />
Who were always there<br />
Grateful for new friends<br />
Who’ll help me around the bend<br />
<br />
Grateful for the tears that flowed<br />
That helped cleanse my soul<br />
Grateful for the pains I felt<br />
That helped shape my old self<br />
<br />
Grateful for yesterday<br />
That prepared me for today<br />
Grateful for tomorrow<br />
And more ambitions to go for<br />
<br />
Grateful for all the blessings<br />
And the hurting in between<br />
Grateful for the talents<br />
That helped me expressed myself<br />
<br />
Grateful forever<br />
And forever will be grateful<br />
<br />
---------------------------------<br />
July 2, 2011<br />
8:52 p.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-71948237691993966212012-03-01T21:26:00.001-08:002012-03-01T21:26:53.596-08:00Emotional Blackmail<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/03/emotional-blackmail.html"><b>Emotional Blackmail</b></a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>by Roy dela Cruz</i></span><br />
<br />
This game<br />
Of cold treatment<br />
Is the worst pain<br />
That can be inflicted<br />
<br />
I am not a monster<br />
Nor did I intend<br />
To cause harm<br />
And yet…<br />
<br />
I can pretend<br />
Not to care too<br />
For I have masks<br />
I can wear<br />
<br />
Run away<br />
Don’t look into my eyes<br />
For I might cause fear<br />
And nightmares too<br />
<br />
Who’s hurting who?<br />
<br />
--------------------------------<br />
February 29, 2012<br />
3:06 a.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-66730497873259581512012-02-20T19:02:00.001-08:002012-02-20T19:03:24.085-08:00Silently<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/02/silently.html"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Silently</b></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>By Roy dela Cruz</i></span><br />
<br />
I sit at the back<br />
Staring at you<br />
Silently<br />
You didn’t notice<br />
Or perhaps<br />
You just don’t care<br />
It doesn’t matter<br />
You don’t have to know<br />
I’ll just sit here<br />
Silently<br />
And look at you<br />
<br />
---------------------<br />
February 21, 2012<br />
10:34 a.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-18707954600534202192012-02-17T16:45:00.000-08:002012-02-17T16:45:51.122-08:00Should You Fall In Love With A Girl With Hurting Past?<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/02/should-you-fall-in-love-with-girl-with.html"><b>Should You Fall In Love With A Girl With Hurting Past?</b></a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>by Roy dela Cruz</i></span><br />
<br />
Do not fall in love<br />
With a girl with hurting past<br />
Unless you want to go through<br />
All the pain that she has<br />
For no matter how pure<br />
Your intentions can be<br />
She'll fear you'll hurt her too<br />
Just like what the first one did<br />
<br />
Because no matter how long<br />
Her wounds will never heal<br />
Time will never erase<br />
The scars he left in her heart<br />
Now here you are who comes<br />
In sincerity, honesty and all<br />
The very things that'll send her a cue<br />
To be afraid and run away<br />
<br />
You'll be left with questions<br />
"Why won't she give me a chance?"<br />
Then you will feel the pain<br />
That's been there in her heart<br />
And the coming days will see<br />
The pain growing even deeper<br />
For she already locked her heart<br />
And you weren't even able to start<br />
<br />
So, should you fall in love<br />
To a girl with hurting past?<br />
I say go ahead, take the risk<br />
For she's worth all the pain there is<br />
It may take a while<br />
But eventually she will see<br />
Through all the pains and tears<br />
That love can be trusted still<br />
<br />
Take chance<br />
Be patient<br />
Prove to her<br />
Love can be trusted still<br />
-----------------------------------<br />
February 17, 2012 <br />
9:50 p.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-33667189211080709912012-02-09T18:39:00.000-08:002012-02-09T18:41:23.741-08:00Love Her - A poem in 3 languages<b>Kabang Atyu Ya Pa</b><br />
<i>neng Roy dela Cruz</i><br />
<br />
<br />
Talnan me gamat kabang abe me pa<br />
E ka sasawang sasabing “Kaluguran da ka”<br />
Uling potang ala ne, malaut ne keka<br />
E na na ka damdaman, adyang gulisak ka pa<br />
<br />
Kareng penandit atin e pamikakaintindi<br />
Patse atin kang ikit e masanting nang ugali<br />
Karetang panaun a mimwa ka o mikapali<br />
Pantunan mu ngan iti potang ika nang dili<br />
<br />
Anya pakalawen me timan nang makayama<br />
Kaulan meng anting e ne maybug mangisnawa<br />
Sukat mung iparamdam kabang atyu ya pa keka<br />
Ing kekang lugud a tune ampong alang kapupusan<br />
<br />
------------------------<br />
January 30, 2012<br />
12:30 p.m.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><br />
<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/02/love-her-poem-in-3-languages.html">Love Her</a> While You Can</b><br />
<i>by Roy dela Cruz</i><br />
<br />
Hold her hands, she might not stay for long<br />
Take every chance to say “I love you so”<br />
For when she’s gone and out of your reach<br />
No amount of crying can reach where she is<br />
<br />
Those times when you’re having misunderstandings<br />
Or you see some habits not to your liking<br />
The times when she drives you out of your wit<br />
Well, guess what? You’re going to miss them too<br />
<br />
So, behold her and her lovely smile<br />
Embrace her as if saying “I’ll never let you go”<br />
Shower her with affection while you can<br />
Make her feel a love that will last till the end of time<br />
<br />
--------------------<br />
January 30, 2012<br />
1:00 p.m.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Habang Kapiling Pa Siya</b><br />
<i>ni Roy dela Cruz</i><br />
<br />
Hawakan mo ang kanyang mga kamay<br />
Ibulong kung gaano mo siya kamahal<br />
Samantalahin ang pagkakataon habang kapiling siya<br />
Dahil umiyak ka man, di niya ito maririnig ‘pag siya’y wala na<br />
<br />
Ang mga tampuhan o di pagkakaunawaan<br />
Sa inyong mga hindi magkatugmang ugali<br />
Ang mga walang katapusang away-bati<br />
Maalala mo lahat yun… kasabay ng mapait na ngiti<br />
<br />
Kaya’t ‘wag kang magsawang tumingin sa kanyang ngiti<br />
Yakapin mo siya nang mahigpit sa bawat saglit<br />
Huwag sayangin ang bawat sandaling siya’y kapiling<br />
Iparamdam na habangbuhay mo siyang mamahalin<br />
<br />
-----------------------<br />
January 30, 2012<br />
1:38 p.m.<br />
<br />
<br />
So <a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2012/02/love-her-poem-in-3-languages.html">love her</a>... just love her...Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-43598968772046762662011-12-13T16:08:00.001-08:002011-12-13T16:09:18.283-08:00It Could Have Been Beautiful<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2011/12/it-could-have-been-beautiful.html"><b>It Could Have Been Beautiful</b></a><br />
<br />
It could have been beautiful<br />
I swear<br />
It could have been<br />
If only I was given<br />
Just a single chance<br />
I could have shown<br />
How beautiful<br />
It could have been<br />
<br />
<i>“I’m not yet ready”</i><br />
Is as cliché as saying<br />
<i>“I have a headache”</i><br />
Typical<br />
It’s not taken against you<br />
For you just made a choice<br />
And I understand<br />
But believe me<br />
It could have been beautiful<br />
<br />
I will be moving on<br />
But I know for sure<br />
I’ll always look back<br />
For one day I might find<br />
That you are ready<br />
I might have the chance<br />
And prove to you<br />
How beautiful it can be<br />
<br />
And then…<br />
You won’t have to cry<br />
<br />
-------------------------------------<br />
Roy<br />
December 14, 2011<br />
12:27 a.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-22197174514586448752011-10-22T22:22:00.000-07:002014-02-21T08:40:47.883-08:00Making matter of your life<b>Making "matter" of your life</b><br />
<br />
During a company meeting, there was sharing of thoughts about an article that was given for us to read. The title of the article was "Make your life matter."<br />
<br />
The article was about, well, making your life matter. Which means making your life significant, making a difference, being a catalyst, and so on and so forth.<br />
<br />
But the word "matter" instantly reverberates in me the definition of matter, "anything that has weight and occupies space."<br />
<br />
Science 101, right?<br />
<br />
Smart-alec you might say. You're right. But wait, my smart-alec inner voice didn't stop there. It elaborates further the definition of matter, in relation to the article we just read, which I was able to share to the group then.<br />
<br />
<b>Anything that has weight</b><br />
One of the characteristics of matter is that it should have weight, which means for us to matter, we should have "weight" too, figuratively speaking of course.<br />
<br />
By weight, I mean substance… purpose… significance. Our thoughts and actions, and existence, should be making a contribution to ourselves, to the people around us, to the community we belong to. "Weight-ful" enough to have an impact, not necessarily in a grandiose way, but at least enough to make even just a small difference.<br />
<br />
Remember, little things matter too (oops, there's that word again).<br />
<br />
<b>…and occupies space</b><br />
Another characteristic of matter… it should be able to occupy a space. Each of us has our "spaces" to occupy. We have our own roles to play.<br />
<br />
Are we occupying it properly? Are we fulfilling our destined role?<br />
<br />
For us to have "weight," we should find our "space."<br />
<br />
We can best create an impact if we are occupying our correct space, if we are playing our exact roles. Being a "square peg in a round hole" is more than just a cliché, in fact it happens quite too often. We need to find our "correct space," our exact role… it is something where we are most happy doing.<br />
<br />
Once we found it, we can only expect ourselves to do our best.<br />
<br />
So, let's make our life matter… rather, let's make "matter" of our life… let's have weight and occupy our space.Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395899.post-89815364357487787582011-07-30T21:05:00.001-07:002011-07-30T21:06:31.346-07:00Breathe In Me A Prayer Of Hope<a href="http://reflectionsbyroy.blogspot.com/2011/07/breathe-in-me-prayer-of-hope.html">Breathe in me a prayer of hope</a><br />
Arm me with the limbs of strength<br />
For the elixir of faith that I take<br />
Now seems to lack in sustenance<br />
<br />
For I, who once donned the armor<br />
Of resilience and invincibility<br />
Now kneels down in Your majestic presence<br />
Unclothe and in full humility<br />
<br />
With the journey ahead yet too far<br />
This battle-scarred soldier already feels tired<br />
So I drag my feet just to continue<br />
For I know the mission is still undone<br />
<br />
So breathe in me a prayer of hope<br />
As I humble myself and bare my soul<br />
Hold me in Your loving arms<br />
Help me make it through the tide<br />
<br />
Please breathe in me a prayer of hope<br />
<br />
---------------------------------------------<br />
Roy<br />
July 27, 2011<br />
12:08 p.m.<br />
Angeles City<br />
PhilippinesRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597983153476226667noreply@blogger.com0