Sunday, September 19, 2004

Real Life

There's less than three minutes left in the game, we are down by two points. Only one three-point bomber will win us the game. I know I could do it, I'm up to the challenge! I can take the pressure! If only I could have the ball. One shot is all I need. The clock is ticking! The game is winding down! One shot! I got to take it! If only I could have the chance! Ten seconds left! Still no shot! Five... four... three... two... one! It's allover! We lose by a shot. I saw it all. From start to finish... from the bench.

Maybe, I have watched too much of Mighty Ducks and other underdog movies. Wherein the most underrated, the most unlikely person, the underdog, suddenly rises to the occasion, perform a huge, almost impossible task, and stand-out as a hero. How many times have I dreamed of that? To be the main man! The real deal! Then suddenly, it snaps! I'm back to reality! The bitter reality! Where I am a nobody!

Well, I'm not really a loser. But honestly, I don't really feel anything near to that of a winner. I had my moments of glory, sure I do. But they are too insignificant! Nobody, even I, don't remember them. I have experienced defeats. Lots of times! I mean most of the times. Falls, frustrations, rejections, humiliations, name it! I think I am the exact personification of the word loser. Come to think of it, loser is not the word, FAILURE is the more appropriate term.

I failed those who believe in me. I even failed myself! That's why I often retreat in my own created world. A world where I am never a failure. A world where I can do anything that I want. A world where everybody looks up to me, where people loved me, where I am always a winner, a do-it-all, Mr. Reliable, the one who always delivers, where my mere presence brings inspiration to all those around me. A world where I am always safe and unharmed. Please don't touch me. Don't shake me! DON'T WAKE ME UP! I am about to be given a VICTORY RIDE!

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