Monday, November 12, 2012

I'm sorry Lord for my faith is weak...

Lord, I'm sorry. I thought I was strong in faith. I thought I can hold on... but I'm not. I'm failing, Lord. Honestly, I would like to hold on and that somehow like a silver lining on a dark and cloudy sky, You would shine at the precise to save me from this pit I am in.

I'm having doubts, My Lord. I am sorry. I've tried not to entertain this feeling but it seems the devil is getting the better of me and I'm losing this fight within me.

Please Lord, I need You now. Help me, My God... I'm drowning...

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Do you dare question God's ways?

Do you dare question God's ways? Can you question His decisions?

I can. In fact, I do.

No, I am not remorseful nor do I feel that it is blasphemous or sacrilegious.

I had an argument once with my wife back then. She was an Education graduate, by the way, and majored in Religious Education.

I asked her, "Do you think cursing God, being angry with Him, and questioning His ways is also a form of prayer?"

At first, she said "No" and was even terrified by the word "cursing." I mean, which faithful dare curse Our Creator, The Almighty Father?

But when I stated my argument, she somewhat agreed… although not completely.

I told her, you can only be mad because you did not get what you were expecting to receive. And you can only expect if you believe. Hence, disappointments are not really caused by doubts but by beliefs… beliefs that were not met.

Also, they say prayer is communicating with God. When you ask Him… question His ways and judgment, you are actually communicating with Him, right? So, how can that not be considered a prayer? And how can you communicate with someone you do not even believe in, in the first place?

That is why I think that when I ask Him about how He throw things at me, and why at times I dare tell Him that He wasn't even listening to me, I know for a fact that I am COMMUNICATING with Him.

It is like a son talking to his father - where both have an open line of communication with each other.

Of course, I never really cursed Him, although I sometimes use absolutes like Never, Always, and I'm sick and tired… only to realize later that His ways are not my ways and His plans are indeed beyond my comprehensions.

I am not stubborn. I would accept His decisions, but I know I can always tell Him how I feel about things. It is something personal.

Thus, I was able to convince Nem, albeit with reservations, that when I question God's ways I am in fact praying to Him.

And yes, I do praise and thank Him too. I do not always complain.

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