Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Yes, I still call her my wife

I know I may have confused some of my friends, especially new friends and old friend who never heard what happened. But yes, I still call Nimia "my wife" because the fact is she is still my wife.

Maybe we're just separated, but we're still married. Nem and I are separated because she now lives in heaven while I am here still struggling it here on earth.

That is why when I talk about her, I still refer to her as my wife. I don't know why, but I can't find it in my heart to use the word "late" and refer to her as my "late" wife, as what some people might say is the correct phrase.

No. It's not because I haven't accepted what happened and I still live in the past. It's not that.

I have already accepted our fate, Nem prepared me for it long before she went "home." I just don't like using the word "late."

Why should I?! She wasn't late! In fact, she was early. SHE WENT HOME EARLY!

Seriously, it doesn't really make any difference for me. We're still married, it's just that she's already up there with the BIG GUY while I'm still down here trying to finish whatever it is that I need to finish.

I do hope this made everything clear… or not.


tashabud said...

Yes, that confuses your new readers. But not anymore since you've made that clear to everyone now.

By saying "late" doesn't mean that you're not married to her anymore. It's just making clear to everyone that she's in heaven now.

However, if it's that uncomfortable for you to say that word, then by all means, don't use it. Your friends and readers will understand.

Happy Wednesday!

Holly Jahangiri said...

I like the way you think, Roy. Of course, I've known this since I met you, or shortly after. My aunt died when her children were young; my uncle never remarried. He seems happy. I don't think he's ever referred to her as his "late wife," either - though of course around us, he would only refer to her by name, naturally. I don't see why others' notions of what you ought to call your wife matter. You call her by her names - wife, Nimia, Mama - because that's WHO she is to you. Not who she was, but who she IS.

Roy said...

Hi Tasha! Yes, I am not really comfortable in using that word and I don't I will ever get used to it.

Thanks for understanding.

Roy said...

Hi Holly! Exactly what I feel! Because she will always be what she is to us.

Thank you very much, Holly!

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