Monday, June 30, 2008

New house... new hope(?)

As I have written in my other blogs,we have moved in to a new house. We have left the house where my wife spent her last days with us. No, we didn't want to erase her memories. It's just that we really have to move out... no more money to pay for the rent.

Fortunately for us, my sister who now stays in Canada allowed us to use her house. She was actually having it rented, but because of what had happened to us she courteously asked the tenants to move out so we can have a house to stay in. Here now is where we stay, with the promise that once I am employed or already earning, I still have to pay for the rent.

That solves the dwelling place problem... but like I said, I'm still unemployed and still unproductive. Quickly becoming a bum, am I? I hope not. I really wish I am not. Because even while we have a place to stay in, we still have to provide for our daily needs.

My three kids goes to school, one is already in college. They have to eat daily... they have to spend daily. Prelims is already fast approaching... the second installment of their tuition fee will be due anytime now. Then there's the utilities... water, electric, communications. The old debts that were incurred in the past and are already past due.

I really don't know what to say... nor what am I driving at...

Heck! I've seen worst!

Friday, June 20, 2008

I never thought it still could hurt...

After taking my daughter Angel to school this morning, I went to my wife's tomb in the cemetery. I try visit her as often as I can, and since all the kids are in school, it's the best time to visit her again. After all, it was almost a week since my last visit.

Shortly, I arrived at the cemetery. With the morning joggers and few people who came to visit too, there weren't too many people there. Aside from occasional laughters from the joggers, everything's really peaceful and quiet. The kind of peace that my wife would appreciate.

Upon reaching my wife's tomb, I placed the flowers down, lit the candles and just stood there... quietly. Wind blowing softly... it was so serene. As I stand there praying silently, while looking at my wife's tomb, I felt something inside me. I felt sadness... I felt pain... bitterness.

I never thought it still could hurt this much. More than the pain of losing the one I love, is the frustrations of not doing much for her in her last few days. I wish I could have done more for her... I wish I could have made her last hours happier.

And as I try to hold on the tears from falling as I walk home... I began to feel that I miss her more now... more than ever before.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Different moods... different blogs...

My different views and different moods won't allow me to post everything here... hence I created other blogs to contain my different moods and views. Allow me to share them here. And while their links may already be in the sidebars, herewith are some brief descriptions of what they are and why they are.

Here goes:

poems... essays... emotions... reflections

My very first blog. Used to be that I will post everything here... my pains, my views, feelings, news, poems... everything! Until I realized that everything shouldn't be here. Which began the creation of a series of other blogs. To contain other items that should not be here. This blog is personal.

Now it contains essays and poems, as well as views and latest happenings in my life.

Be Inspired Now!
as I seek for inspiration... I also seek to be one...

A blog where I can share my poems... my stories... wherein I could hope to inspire others. Here is where I will also share some stories that I got from the net and other people... and somehow were also able to make some difference in my life.

And as my invitation for this blog goes....

Let us all be inspired!

Subukan Taya Ing Kapampangan!
Kapampangan para kareng Kapampangan!

A Kapampangan blog for Kapampangans all over the world. Written entirely in my native tounge, with few insertions of English and other languages/dialects if they have no Kapampangan translation or if it could emphasize the subject.

News and views, and others too - all in Kapampangan. Kabalen, mekeni na!

The House Of Puroy Enterprises
The home of ideas, the home of creativity
the home expressions, the home of HOPE

The blog edition of my multiply site... intended for promotion of my business, my products and everything commercial. So far, it has become a feedback blog... a service review... and opinions based from my point-of-view as a customer. AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY.

But with it's original purpose still in mind, soon it will contain what it was intended to contain. While still continuing with what has it started.

After all, it is the home of expressions.

Letters To Mama
maybe there's an internet in heaven...

Since my wife has been gone... I am left with no one to talk to. No one to share or contradict my views. Add to the fact that I have to attend to our kids - fulltime. And most of the time, I am clueless on what to do. From the food to be served, what to do when they are sick, when they are whining, quarrelling, to the smallest of their problem.

My wife would always know what to do... this blog is my way of reaching out to her. To seek her advice... tell her about the latest happenings with us... and just to tell her how much I love her and how much I miss her.

Who knows? Maybe... just maybe... maybe, there's an internet in heaven.

The Struggling Blogger
If I write will you read? If I beg will you feed?

A blog where I consciously attempt to write with sense and relevance. Here is also where I intend to show that I can become a professional blogger - where I intend to find the means and ends to earn from blogging.

While it may currently contains a mixed bag of opinions... from movies to televisions, and what-have-you's, it's initial intention is still intact - to earn. And on my travel towards that road, continously seeking for the opportunity (or the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow), I will share every bit of information that I may gather along the way, to assist others too in their own struggle.

Sugar Coated World
because life isn't really that sweet...

A spin-off from my REFLECTIONS blog. Still personal, but with more angst... more pains. All the negativity that I wish to dislodge from my chest. Puts the reality back in my life.

And while it seems to contradict the Be Inspired Now! blog, it help me keeps my sanity by allowing me to be free from all anxities within me.

I seek your indulgence on this one... while it may not as positive, it is as real as life... which isn't really that sweet after all.

I hope you could take time to visit all of them and see the diversity of my moods and emotions... some may call it inconsistency, others may call it flexibility or adaptability, others would call it moods, while others may not really care. But what the heck! They are blogs, each with a personality of its own... and their are mine.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The light just dimmed out...

What I thought was the light at the end of the tunnel seem to haved dimmed out. Because until now, I haven't received a call from the company in Subic who interviewed me two weeks ago. The interviewer assured me that I would be back for the final interview since he would recommend me. I should have known better.

Now, I'm back again to hoping... into hanging on a thread... a thread of hope that is.

I really don't know if migration is the only option for us. I guess, with the way things are turning out, there is really no choice left for us. I am hesitant I admit that, this sentiment is actually shared by my two sons. The only one enthusiastic about this is my daughter Angel. And it is because of her that this being planned for.

I wish things would be better soon. If migration should be it... then so be it. Anything for my children. After all, they already sacrificed so much.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Hope shines anew....

It could just be a thread... but it is something for me to hang on... at least...

Yesterday I got a call on my cellphone. A girl on the other line confirmed my name and then asked if I am already employed. When I said not yet, she asked if I would like to work for them as an accountant.

Surprised... at first I thought it was frank call... a scam... another modus operandi. I asked her name again and their company. It turns out they are locators in Subic, it is a Japanese company looking for an accountant. When I asked her how she got hold of my number and how did she know I was an accountant. She told me "from the internet". I remembered, I uploaded my resume in and

Anyway, she asked me if I could come for an interview - Monday, June 3 at 9:00 in the morning. I said yes cause I really don't have anything to do on that date. After she hung up, I was still confused about what has transpired. I haven't applied to any company online for quite sometime as I am not getting any reply nor feedback from them. Then suddenly, a company picked up my resume from the databank?!

I searched for the company's name in the net. It is an existing company, a legitimate one. And they have just been awarded a contract by the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority (SBMA). So I guess, this could be a real job offer.

The interview will be tomorrow... so if you happen to chance by this blog anytime before, during and even after the interview... please may I request for a short prayer? Hoping that this could be the light at the end of the tunnel I'm searching for...

I'm still hoping...

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