Why am I still here?

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Why am I still here?

If I can't be with the one I love, then let me be with the one who loves me.

I will never be good enough for her...

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It was July 12, 2011, around 9:00 a.m., I was sitting on my desk preparing my things before I make my rounds. It was my second week in my new job as Admin Officer in the hospital. Before I was able to stand up, my Admin Director approached me... she was accompanied by an angel.

"Roy, this is Gail, head of the Hemodialysis unit," my Director said as she introduced the angel to me, "they will be attending a seminar in Philhealth tomorrow and they need transportation. Make sure they will be provided one, it's an important seminar."

"Yes ma'm! It will be taken care of," I replied, as I looked at the angel with the sweetest smile.

It must have been more than 10 minutes since they left, but it seemed I can still see Gail standing there in front of my desk, smiling.

Fast forward, I no longer work in the hospital. I left about three weeks ago seeking for the proverbial "greener pasture" and the one I miss most in the hospital, of course, is the angel with the sweetest smile.

But the problem is, I will never be good enough for her. Never have been... never will be. I guess I just have to be contented with her being only a dream.

I wish I can tell more and say why it can't be.

I just have to accept the fact that it will never happen... but I love her... always will.

Grateful

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Grateful
by Roy dela Cruz


Grateful for the challenges
That helped me grow
Grateful for new horizons
That I can explore

Grateful for old friends
Who were always there
Grateful for new friends
Who’ll help me around the bend

Grateful for the tears that flowed
That helped cleanse my soul
Grateful for the pains I felt
That helped shape my old self

Grateful for yesterday
That prepared me for today
Grateful for tomorrow
And more ambitions to go for

Grateful for all the blessings
And the hurting in between
Grateful for the talents
That helped me expressed myself

Grateful forever
And forever will be grateful

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July 2, 2011
8:52 p.m.
Angeles City
Philippines