Yes, I still call her my wife

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I know I may have confused some of my friends, especially new friends and old friend who never heard what happened. But yes, I still call Nimia "my wife" because the fact is she is still my wife.

Maybe we're just separated, but we're still married. Nem and I are separated because she now lives in heaven while I am here still struggling it here on earth.

That is why when I talk about her, I still refer to her as my wife. I don't know why, but I can't find it in my heart to use the word "late" and refer to her as my "late" wife, as what some people might say is the correct phrase.

No. It's not because I haven't accepted what happened and I still live in the past. It's not that.

I have already accepted our fate, Nem prepared me for it long before she went "home." I just don't like using the word "late."

Why should I?! She wasn't late! In fact, she was early. SHE WENT HOME EARLY!

Seriously, it doesn't really make any difference for me. We're still married, it's just that she's already up there with the BIG GUY while I'm still down here trying to finish whatever it is that I need to finish.

I do hope this made everything clear… or not.

How to be an inspiration?

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What does it really take to inspire others? Do you need to be somebody? Do you have to be an influential person before you can be inspirational?

I don’t think so. I don’t really know how, but I think the list I prepared below might help.

1.    Smile
2.    If it suddenly rained and you don’t have an umbrella, dance like a little kid under the rain… and smile
3.    If your house was burned down, say “At least I’m still alive and unharmed,” and then… smile
4.    If you suddenly lost your dog, believe that he is happy, and loved, with his new owner… and smile
5.    If you find yourself suddenly out of job, think of the many possibilities. Like the prospects of new jobs you can apply to, or even start a business and be your own boss! And then… smile
6.    If your girl/boy dumps you for another one, know that someone better will come along… and smile
7.    When all your life’s savings went down the drain because you lose on a bet or invested it on a business that went kaput, realize that you can always start again. Remember that when you are down, there’s no way to go but up. And of course, don’t forget to smile.

Shallow? Yes, they are. But some people are not really looking for heroes. They are looking for real people – people who get hurt; people who fail; people who fall, and stand up.

You don’t have to do a great deal. You don’t need gigantic accomplishments. You can inspire others even if you yourself are still undone. As long as you continue to fight, no matter how hard you are hit. People will notice, and they will realize that it is still worthwhile to continue living. Then, they will be inspired too.

Does it make sense?

Then tell me… are you inspired yet?

Putting me in my proper place

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I attended a songwriting workshop conducted by The Maestro, Mr. Ryan Cayabyab, today at the San Beda College in Manila. I was very excited because aside from the workshop itself, it will be the first time that I will meet Ryan Cayabyab. I've been watching him since Ryan Ryan Musikahan, and yes, you may say I'm a fan.

Together with him during the workshop were some of the finalists of the recently concluded PhilPop Music Festival Songwriting Competition. The contest I joined in, and of course, eventually lost.

They presented the finalists, and the finalists who were present there performed their winning songs.

Damn! They're good! No, I mean, they were excellent!

And I dared compete with those people?! And you know what's worse? They were so young, some were even half my age!

What does that make me? Twice a loser, I guess.

Ryan said well, "You've seen and heard these guys. They all play a musical instrument and they all can sing."

He emphasized that those are important factors for a songwriter.

I am a mediocre guitar player and definitely a lousy singer.

Should I still join future songwriting contests?

I don't know, those guys sure put me in my proper place.