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Monday, November 24, 2008

Our firsts without her...

We have spent our first Mother's Day without her... now here come some more firsts... because life is supposed to go on.

When you're not on someone else's shoes, things are easier to say. "She is at rest now..." "be strong, you can do it..." "have faith..." and so on...

I know all that. But once in melancholic trance, all senses, logic, faith and strength seem to fly out the window. Nothing but anxiety and loneliness remain.

Can life really go on? I'm talking about a life with sense, direction... purpose. I really don't think anybody would understand what I'm saying here... they just think they do.

In a few days time it will be her birthday, November 29 to be exact. Then comes December 8, our wedding anniversary... it is supposed to be our 17th year. Of course, needless to say, Christmas day comes next.

I don't think I'm making any sense here. I don't even know what I'm trying to drive at.

I'm lost... I'm moving and going somewhere... but I don't know where...

I'm doing something, but I don't know what... and why...

and just because life has to go on...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello Roy, Thanks for stopping by my page. Hope everything is well with you and the kids. see you around and take care

Jena Isle said...

Hi Roy,

Your theme seems better now. You're right about people not understanding what you really feel. I will just pray for you, that you'll be able to sail through. Saan nagaaral iyong panganay? (just curious) and what course?

You're starting to do well in the blogging world. I know this will just be the beginning.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jena!

Thanks! He is now in 1st year college at holy angel, taking up accounting.

Jena Isle said...

hI rOY,

I posted this in your helium. I find it touching.

Cheers.

Roy said...

thanks Jena!

pmonchet said...

Hello Roy, I have been in your predicament before. I know the feeling. God Bless. By the way you got tagged here: http://www.fatherlyours.com/2008/11/30/i-joined-prayer-brigade-for-the-future-president-of-the-philippines/

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